i would punch a child for taco bell
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
