Don't you send me to vm
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
