I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Randomize