its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize