He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize