Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
