They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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