Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
