She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Randomize
