R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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