Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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