with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
