Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Every concussion has its silver lining
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
