Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
