After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
