we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
