I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Randomize