I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
i just wanna soil my oats bro
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize