I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
