just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
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