do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
