im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I just pynch a tree in the face
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
