OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
