He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Randomize
