I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
thus making me awesome and them whores
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
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