Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
