You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
