my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
We talked him into tasing himself.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
