I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Randomize
