they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
