I never want to see another naked old woman again.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
