no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
