I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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