i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
