2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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