Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Randomize
