Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Randomize