i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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