found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
