Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
