they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
