I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
