I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
it was like eating out sand paper
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
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