So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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