I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
