do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Randomize
