I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
We had sex on a dog bed..
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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