guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
