If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
