smell my finger.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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