Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
