And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
