So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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