i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I pour the whiskey from now on
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Randomize
