Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
