At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
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