well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
