like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
