And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
