oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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