Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
