hotel room ftw
i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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